Meknes Rocker

I know it's been a while since I posted, but I'm alive and well and pursuing my lifelong dream to be a rockstar. After my debut in the sauna, singing hits like "Eye of the Tiger" and "Nights in White Satin", I was ready to hit the road. My girlfriend Scarlett Johannson (see pic) has been super supportive and says that I'm easily one of the greatest artists that the 21st century has seen thus far. I think I'm even better, but I'll let the public judge for themselves.

Knights in Sauna Towels

To celebrate Nicole and my birthdays, the group of us went to our favorite place in Vladimir, the sauna. Per tradition, I used the karaoke machine to serenade the group with one of my favorite hits. This time, I chose "Nights in White Satin", and, judging by the photos, it was a good choice. I've never had such an enthusiastic reception!

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs...

Faithful readers of Mandy's blog know that we found an adorable puppy last week. We knew immediately that he was something special and settled on the name Luka-Bashi.

As the father of all Turkmen, Bashi made us proud. He chewed on things, ran around the office chasing after our slippers, and peed on possibly every square inch of our floor. We all helped out to make his stay in the AH as comfortable as possible.

For my part, I introduced the intrepid leader to one of the greatest works of poetry ever- Rudyard Kipling's If. Here you can see me imparting Kipling's meaningful philosophical insight onto my captivated audience.

And I firmly believe that one day, he will be a man.

Hair Woes

Now, I could spend this blog entry writing about my winter break in America, reflections on the previous semester and the upcoming semester.

However, being the type of person that I am, I've decided to talk about, well, myself. Now, I naturally take a great amount of pride in my personal appearance. Last semester I had amassed a decent amount of hair, both facial and cranial, much to the great delight/chagrin of some of the other teachers' students. One day, I decided enough was enough and asked Galina Petrovna to give me a minor haircut. Here's a picture of Joanna saying goodbye to my of nest of curls.

I decided to keep the beard for the time being, feeling that it added to my American male allure. Naturally, when I returned to America, this was no longer necessary and I got rid of the beard (my regular male allure sufficed).

Now I've returned to Vladimir to start a new semester. The curls are growing back, but my face is abnormally bare. I'm thinking about cultivating some chops for February to celebrate the true ladies man, Alexander Sergeyevich. Wish me luck, not that I need it.

Beer - It's not just for drinking anymore

It was a red letter day a couple weeks ago at an American Home birthday party when I turned to Joanna and asked her what kind of alcohol she would prefer to bathe in. The conversation blossomed into a brilliant plan to open an alcohol bathing spa for New Russians in Moscow, and we started researching right away. According to the all-knowing Internet, alcohol bathing really is good for you. But I had known that already -- how could it not be?

This past weekend theoretical research turned to practical experimentation. On Friday night some of us were planning on playing a game of Sovietopoly at Joanna's apartment, which sounded like a good chance to give our feet a soothing bath in a tub of beer. We chose to start with feet because we're too poor for a whole bathtub full of alcohol, and we chose beer because it has the lowest alcohol content and we have the lowest expectations for it.

So we bought two two-liter bottles of the cheapest beer we could find, took a pore-opening steam bath and foot-washing in Joanna's bathroom, and then the beer bathing commenced.

Here we are looking giddy and triumphant before the ground-breaking event.

A game of Sovietopoly, a plate of pasta with lots of salt, and my foot in a vat of beer. I don't think I've ever had a better night in my life.

Feet love beer almost as much as people do. Actually, it was a great success. We learned that it doesn't feel gross at all to have your feel soaking in beer for a couple hours. On the contrary, it refreshes them, exfoliates them, moisturizes them, and best of all, gives them a warm and happy feeling inside.

We have more exciting alcohol bathing experimentation coming soon. Next time: champagne.

i make love to myself

Best Stand-up Comedy Show Ever

Gotta accentuate the Jew bump.

Bob is my new god

So last night I played a little game I call a race. even though I won the race, I lost my poor baby, my love, my precious. I immediately sobered up upon seeing her on the ground, in pieces. I though my life was over, there was no reason to live. I gathered her bits and pieces up and tried to put it all together, but alas, she was not to be.

I cried myself to sleep that night.

Today gave me a new reason to live. Bob, my new personal hero, fixed my precious. I did not ask how, he must commune with the devil to have the power over technology that he has. I am forever in his debt. I'm considering naming my first born after him, in the hope that he might have the same magic with technology as Bob.

Tonight, I will go home and listen to her serenade me to sleep with some hootie and his blowfish. Not a day will go by where I don't think how much Bob made life worth living again.

Fire Show

Last night, some of the other AH teachers and I headed down to Pushkin Park. Our new friend Max had called and said that he and a friend from Yaroslavl were putting on some kind of street art performance - and there would be fire involved. I didn't know what to expect, but it was pretty sweet. This guy had two (maybe cloth) balls soaked in benzene on the ends of two chains. He lit them on fire and was swinging them around, making some awesome fiery patterns in the night air. Here's a picture of me and Max drumming on some gallon jugs, keeping the beat for him.